Goodbye, My Colleagues!

         It has been my pleasure knowing you and giving each other support for our professional growth.  As we are about to move on into our different specializations, I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone of you all the best as you continue your professional path.  If you have the interest and desire to visit China or work in China as an early childhood professional, do contact me:  kokboonwww@yahoo.com.

Stage of Adjourning

As I have said it before that I have been involving in a number of groups, particularly group projects.  In fact, I prefer to work in a group, rather than to work alone by myself.   In a group setting, you accomplish more and work more effective, attaining success more easily than being working alone all by yourself. 

I am so fortunate that I have a regular team to work with for different projects, without much going through to the forming, norming and stages.  We have to do a lot of brainstorming during the storming stage for a new project.  And, in the performing stage, we have to make sure the project is on time and within budget. Among all the stages of group development, I enjoy the time in the adjourning period, when we can celebrate success and accomplishment that we have achieved.  Each success we achieve makes our team to be more norming and performing.  We have formulated our team rules and systems of planning and execution. 

However, as far as I am concerned, it is hardest to leave from the groups that are high performing when compared to groups that have clearest established norms.  In a high-performing group, there is an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect, and each member is highly motivated to achieve success for the group.  When encountering a conflict, the team members can work through it and come to a consensus easily.  On the contrary, clearest established norms groups are at the beginning stage to work more effectively as a team.  They are yet to learn to trust and rely on each other to get the job done.  Their interdependent relationships are at the initial stage.

Adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork simply because evaluation and reflection that done in the stage would help members to develop personally and professionally.   It is good time for the team to evaluate and capture best practices for future use.  

Conflict Resolution

Conflict can happen every day, at any time, at any place, on every people.  I have been encountering a lot of conflicts, particularly in the work place, when there are disputes in goals, beliefs, and ideas.

Recently, a staff had a conflict with me in terms of what resources should be used for our kitchen.  For example, I told him that we needed to get a larger volume of cooking oil, as we consume a lot of it every day in our cooking for children and staff.  But, he told me that the supplier did not have the supply of the larger quantity.  I then asked him to look for other suppliers who could supply a larger volume of cooking oil.  And I told him that I had been telling him about this for a couple of times.  This issue has not been rectified at once and left unattended.  After hearing what I had just said, he was provoked and got upset.  He angrily told me that he has been working very hard for the center, but was not appreciated and valued by me, who was his supervisor.  He felt that he did not feel happy working in this center and was displeased of the working system here.  I then sarcastically told him that he could quit if he felt this was not the right place for him to work.  I guess my statement inflamed his outrage and anger.  He then shouted at me, “I quit!!” and walked off. 

Having studied this week lesson, and when I recall the conflict I had with my staff, I realized that my communication with the staff had some violent contents, such as being judgmental and condemning.  Nonviolent Communication teaches that we should be empathically listening and honestly expressing as we communicate with others.  Nonviolent communication is not about getting others to do what we demand.  It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving and receiving.  This will be a powerful strategy to prevent latent tension to develop into overt conflict! 

Another strategy I have learned that might help me to manage the conflict is to use Conflict Resolution Skills, being proposed by Conflict Resolution Network (n.d.).  For example, win-win approach, one of the Conflict Resolution Skills, is a skill that to make both parties in communication to be winners—I want to win and I want you to win too.  This strategy brings both parties to go back to the underlying needs, with recognition of individual differences.  The most of all, this strategy helps to attack the problems, not the people.  Hence, I believe if I use the win-win approach with my staff, he would not experience the separateness, disconnectedness, or being denied by me and others.  Rather, he would sense togetherness and willingly to work out solution for mutual gain. 

Reference

Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.). CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3

Being a Communicator in a Diverse World

       O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) said that cultural factors, such as age, gender, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, even where we grow up, impact our perception and the perception of others.  Because of the different perceptions, there are some similarities and differences between how we evaluated ourselves as a communicator and how others evaluated us. 

       Communication is a more much complex, transactional process, being expressed through language, nonverbal behaviors, cultural understandings, and even unintentional reactions.  As a result, if messages are sent not appropriately or effectively, the receiver will perceive them wrongly, and will misunderstand or misjudge the sender. 

       In the evaluation, I did not aware that others perceived me as being timid to speak out publicly, or avoid talking to people that I do not know well.  It could be my nonverbal cues have made others to interpret wrongly.  Thus, even I have the tendency to speak out in some contexts, my behaviors of being of quiet instead of proactive, leading others to think that I am reluctant to do public speaking. 

       Two insights gained about communication in this week study.  The first one is that perception plays in the communication process is critical to our success as communicators.  Therefore, we need to aware how we communicate and understand how others view us as a communicator.  By doing so, we are alert and be reflective in our role as an early childhood professional.  The second insight gained is that cultural differences have a strong impact in influencing our perception.  Each of communicator brings his or her culture to the process of communication.  We need to accept the reality of the uniqueness of perception each one has.  Once we can identify and learn to understand the differences of these perceptions, we can become be more sensitive and mindful when communicating with others, particularly to young children and their families.  Eventually, the wellbeing of young children will be fostered when communication is effective and appropriate. 

Reference:

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Cultural Diversity

       When one is sensitive and mindful, one can realize that cultural diversity is pervasive in every corner, across and within societies and families.  It is a reality and we need to learn to address these differences, particular as we communicate with people who are different from us culturally.

       Communication basically takes place through language, nonverbal behaviors, and listening (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).  Different cultural people use different languages and nonverbal behaviors to communicate.  Therefore, when communicating with others that are different in culture, we need to use language and nonverbal behaviors that are appropriate and can be understood by these people.  For example, as we communicate with elderly people, particularly those who are less educated, the words that we use have to be simple and straightforward, containing no word of jargon.  Additionally, we have to speak relatively slow with some nonverbal cues, such as repeating and complementing, to reinforce our verbal messages, in order to communicate effectively. 

       Three strategies that I will use for effective communication with people that are different with me culturally:

1.    Understand their deep culture, such as their worldview, values, beliefs, and practices, in order to fully understand their communication behaviors.

2.    Aware of my own patterns of behavior in communication, so that I am prepared to accept others who might have different patterns of behavior, hence, avoiding me to be bias and prejudice against others (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010).

3.    Be other-oriented, applying the Platinum Rule, “Do to others as they themselves would like to be treated”.  By doing so, others will feel comfortable to communicate with me

References:

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

About Communication Skills

       Our textbook informed us that communication is the process by which we use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information.  The tools we use to communicate are language, nonverbal behaviors, and listening.  These tools when being used together promote and foster effective communication.  However, if only one of these tools is applied, our communication is severely affected. 

      For example, we hardly understand one’s feeling and expressing by looking at one’s nonverbal behavior, i.e., his gestures, eye behavior, and facial expressions.  No doubt, nonverbal behavior is communicative, but can be very ambiguous.  Unless you know the situational context well, you hardly can pick up clues from the nonverbal behavior.  For example, I was watching a show about lying with the sound turned off; I could not detect which ones were liars by just basing on their gestures and body movements.  The one who avoid making eye contact and blink frequently, or the other one who looks relaxed and controlled?  My schemas tell me that one that has awkward body movements is more suspicious, and can be considered a liar.  But, O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) remarked, “competent communicators must think beyond schemas when determining the meaning of nonverbal communication” (p. 129).  In fact, I was wrong as the show later revealed to me that the one who looked calmed and stable was a true liar!

Reference:
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:  Bedford/St. Martin's.

A Competent Communicator

         Talking about someone who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context, I could think of Jesus, the central figure of Christianity.  In one specific situation, his effective skills of ethical communication was fully displayed. 

         The Bible records (in the book of John, chapter 8) the incident where a woman was caught in adultery and was brought to Jesus.  The Pharisees made her stand before the crowd and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?” 

         According to the Bible, Jesus did not answer the question immediately; instead he bent down and wrote something on the ground.  When they kept on asking him, he stood up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone on her.”  After saying, he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

         Having heard what Jesus has said, the crowd began to go away one at a time, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus stood up and asked her, “Woman, where are they?  Has no one condemn you?”  “No one, sir,” she replied.  “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared.  “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

         What a touching story!  Through his skills of communication, Jesus stopped the crowd to inflict discrimination, degrading, intimidating, exploitative, physical harmful practices on the woman.  Instead, he demonstrated and promoted the spirit of forgiving, fairness and justice.  Jesus has provided a model for us to follow, as far as ethical communication is concerned.