Conflict can happen every day, at any time, at any place, on every people. I have been encountering a lot of
conflicts, particularly in the work place, when there are disputes in goals,
beliefs, and ideas.
Recently, a staff had a conflict
with me in terms of what resources should be used for our kitchen. For example, I told him that we needed
to get a larger volume of cooking oil, as we consume a lot of it every day in
our cooking for children and staff.
But, he told me that the supplier did not have the supply of the larger
quantity. I then asked him to look
for other suppliers who could supply a larger volume of cooking oil. And I told him that I had been telling
him about this for a couple of times.
This issue has not been rectified at once and left unattended. After hearing what I had just said, he
was provoked and got upset. He
angrily told me that he has been working very hard for the center, but was not
appreciated and valued by me, who was his supervisor. He felt that he did not feel happy working in this center
and was displeased of the working system here. I then sarcastically told him that he could quit if he felt
this was not the right place for him to work. I guess my statement inflamed his outrage and anger. He then shouted at me, “I quit!!” and walked
off.
Having studied this week lesson,
and when I recall the conflict I had with my staff, I realized that my
communication with the staff had some violent contents, such as being
judgmental and condemning.
Nonviolent Communication teaches that we should be empathically
listening and honestly expressing as we communicate with others. Nonviolent communication is not about
getting others to do what we demand.
It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs
met through compassionate giving and receiving. This will be a powerful strategy to prevent latent tension
to develop into overt conflict!
Another strategy I have learned
that might help me to manage the conflict is to use Conflict Resolution Skills,
being proposed by Conflict Resolution Network (n.d.). For example, win-win approach, one of the Conflict
Resolution Skills, is a skill that to make both parties in communication to be
winners—I want to win and I want you to win too. This strategy brings both parties to go back to the
underlying needs, with recognition of individual differences. The most of all, this strategy helps to
attack the problems, not the people.
Hence, I believe if I use the win-win approach with my staff, he would
not experience the separateness, disconnectedness, or being denied by me and
others. Rather, he would sense
togetherness and willingly to work out solution for mutual gain.
Reference
Conflict Resolution Network. (n.d.). CR kit. Retrieved from http://www.crnhq.org/pages.php?pID=12#skill_3
Wong,
ReplyDeleteI think we become involved in many conflict situations ever day that it is hard not to become judgmental or condemning. Practicing NVC skill can definitely help us become more successful in communication process.